Healthy relationships - an overview

• Verbal arguments that can be frequent and intense and that may resurface over the same issues such as finances, children, or household chores.
• There is usually a cause to the argument such as a ‘life stressor’ that can be unpicked after further exploration if not clear from the outset.

• Playing on your phone or doing another activity when the other person is trying to speak.
• Blatantly not listening to what someone has to say by talking over them.
• Thinking about what you want to say next, instead of actually acknowledging what the other person is saying.

• Not speaking to each other for long periods or one person ignoring the other.
• Talking through the children to make a point towards the other parent/carer.

• Ongoing issues where neither person backs down or apologies.
• Unable to come to conclusions or agreements. 

• Interrupting, raising your voice, eye rolling or huffing when the other person is talking.
• Laughing at the other person when they are expressing their feelings.
• Being dismissive.

• Inability or unwillingness to open up and communicate on an emotional level. This could be due to unwanted drama, anxiety, stress or simply because both or either parent does not have the appropriate skills to do so.

• Not fully complying with agreements, such as dropping children off to the other parent late.
• Making accusations towards the other person or services that are not relevant or true.
• Low level blaming and/or refusal to submit to one another rules or requests.

Parental relationships that are characterised by hostility and distress are typically less sensitive and emotionally responsive to their children’s needs, creating tension and unpredictability within the family environment.

Conflict that does not make either parent feel scared, unsafe or threatened. However, this does not mean that children do not feel worried or insecure.

When children are confident of the love of both parents, they are more easily able to adjust to new situations and succeed in all aspects of life.

When parents cooperate positively and amicably with one another, their child will mirror this throughout their future.

Children who see their parents continuing to work together are more likely to learn how to solve problems effectively and peacefully themselves.

When parents are equally involved in supporting children towards academic success, a child’s commitment to achieve will increase due to their improved self-esteem and security in knowing that their achievements will be recognised and celebrated by both parents alike.

When parents get along and jointly prioritise their children’s needs, children are less likely to develop issues such as anxiety and depression.